today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post
im so PUMPED about fall!!!!! ill wear 500 sweaters i dont care ill shove a whole pumpkin up my ass
i miss getting party bags at the end of parties why dont we still do that party bags were the best part of the party
It was like a reward for being sociable
COMING SOON [speakers blow out] TO OWN ON DVD [children scramble for the remote] AND VIDEO CASSETTE [atomic bomb explodes in living room]
when you have a coughing fit in class and you are trying to hold it in
i cant believe how true this is
I literally just woke up thank you for this
One time right after my alarm went off for school a random number I didn’t know called me and I answered and this played and then they hung up and I had a great day.
So fucking powerful.
can’t get over this
every fucking time..